Crazy Love – Chapters 9-10
This marks the end of the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I hope you enjoyed the book and the chance to talk through it with everyone. I had a blast and really appreciate the insight you have all shared. I can honestly say that I read it with different eyes because of the comments that everyone contributed. Here are my thoughts on the last two chapters:
1. Page 150. The guy getting his teeth all taken out so that he would never be distracted from the mission field was pretty intense.
2. Page 154 -155. I had no idea Rich Mullins was like this. I was a huge Christian music snob growing up and missed a lot of the great stories behind the music. I love that Mullins constantly fought against people trying to put him on a pedestal.
3. Page 159. How do you feel when you bump into stories about miracles like the one with Brother Yun’s broken legs?
4. Page 166. I like that Chan lays out that the solution or opportunity is not the same for everyone. For some people, they’ll quit their job and head to the mission field and for some others, they’ll work harder at the job they already have. It’s frustrating to me when people propose a one size fits all solution.
5. Page 166. If there were two camps in the Stuff Christians Like Book Club, I was clearly on the “pro-Crazy Love” side, but I can understand the push back people are having with statements like page 166, “The stories in chapter 9 are brief snapshots of how a few people have lived out true Christianity in America …” The challenge is who decides what “true Christianity” is?
6. Page 167. “Have you ever said: “I was made for this moment?” I have and it’s usually not the moment I would have expected it to be. How about you?
7. Page 168. “We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn’t come through.” Ouch, that one hit home.
8. Page 169. “I’ve made a commitment to consistently put myself in situations that scare me and require God to come through.” I love that and that’s something my wife and I are actively praying about right now with a few things that are coming up.
9. Page 172. “The world needs Christians who don’t tolerate the complacency of their own lives.” I agree with this 100%.
10. Overall, what did you think of the book? Did you love it? Did you hate it? Would you tell friends to read it?
Those are my thoughts, what are yours?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Crazy Love - Chapters 6 - 8
Crazy Love - Chapters 6-8
This marks the second to last section of Crazy Love we'll be talking about for the Stuff Christians Like Book Club. We'll discuss chapters 9 and 10 on Wednesday, February 25. Here are some things that struck me about chapters 6-8.
1. Page 100. "When you are truly in love, you go to great lengths to be with the one you love." I think that’s true. Would anyone that watched my life see me going to great lengths to be with God?
2. Page 102. "We don't have to worry about a burdensome load of commands, because when we are loving, we can't sin. Do you feel free in your Christian life?" I've seen this in my own life with how I approach lust. When I tried to focus on cutting lust from my life it felt impossible. When I focused instead on God's love, my desire to lust diminished.
3. Page 104. "The fact is, I need God to help me love God." I really liked this idea. Sometimes I feel so bent out of shape trying to "get love right." I essentially say, "God I am so sorry I keep failing at loving you. No, no, I don't want your help with loving you, let me figure this out on my own and then come to you." The idea of being able to pray, "God, help me love you" is really freeing to me.
4. Page 108. "We are always the recipients of His great and manifold gifts. Not the givers. Never the givers." Again, this statement removes the pressure for me to feel like God is waiting on my gift and I keep blowing it. He is already complete.
5. Page 110. The section on Malachi 3:10 about giving God your whole tithe and not robbing Him was one I wrote "wow" beside in the margin. Time is the tithe I don't give very well and the idea of writing Him a blank check with my time was really challenging. And I liked the idea of "Give God more than you can manage"
6. Page 115. "Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." How sensible is your life right now?
7. Page 119. "How would my life change if I actually thought of each person I came into contact with as Christ…" This is stupid, but I actually tried this while driving to church the other day. I usually get really mad at people that cut me off on the way into the church parking lot. And I honestly tried to see them as Christ instead of an enemy preventing me from getting a good parking spot.
8. Page 123. "Do we really believe that "it ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day?" I rarely think about the final day and all too often live life firmly planted in the right now.
9. Page 127. "What matters is that we spend ourselves." I like that phrase, "spend ourselves." For me, part of that means writing as much as I can and trying to pour out for others what I feel like God is pouring into me. What does spending yourself look like to you?
10. Page 130. “True faith is loving a person after he has hurt you.” What was your reaction to the last person that hurt you?
11. Page 133. “We’ve elevated safety to the neglect of whatever God’s best is …” This was challenging to me because right now I am wrestling with whether I should be doing “this blog writing” more. And I want God to say, “Sure and here’s why it is perfectly safe to do that.” But He won’t. How are you living safe?
12. Page 136. The description of wasting the day by “spending hours connecting with God” was a good push point for me. I once heard another minister say that in the age of busyness we are called to do something that seems wasteful, pray. I also liked the question why “do we assume we could never do anything so radical or intense?”
13. The humble section on page 137 was well timed as I get the opportunity to speak more. God has been planting that idea on my heart a lot lately, that He wants me to get smaller and quieter in His hand while the things around me get louder and pick up the pace.
14. Page 145 kind of asks the question, “What is your thing?” If you did an audit of the way you spent your time last week, what would your thing be?
15. Page 146. “Joy is something that we have to choose and then work for.” I completely agree with that.
Those are my thoughts, what did you make of chapters 6-8?
This marks the second to last section of Crazy Love we'll be talking about for the Stuff Christians Like Book Club. We'll discuss chapters 9 and 10 on Wednesday, February 25. Here are some things that struck me about chapters 6-8.
1. Page 100. "When you are truly in love, you go to great lengths to be with the one you love." I think that’s true. Would anyone that watched my life see me going to great lengths to be with God?
2. Page 102. "We don't have to worry about a burdensome load of commands, because when we are loving, we can't sin. Do you feel free in your Christian life?" I've seen this in my own life with how I approach lust. When I tried to focus on cutting lust from my life it felt impossible. When I focused instead on God's love, my desire to lust diminished.
3. Page 104. "The fact is, I need God to help me love God." I really liked this idea. Sometimes I feel so bent out of shape trying to "get love right." I essentially say, "God I am so sorry I keep failing at loving you. No, no, I don't want your help with loving you, let me figure this out on my own and then come to you." The idea of being able to pray, "God, help me love you" is really freeing to me.
4. Page 108. "We are always the recipients of His great and manifold gifts. Not the givers. Never the givers." Again, this statement removes the pressure for me to feel like God is waiting on my gift and I keep blowing it. He is already complete.
5. Page 110. The section on Malachi 3:10 about giving God your whole tithe and not robbing Him was one I wrote "wow" beside in the margin. Time is the tithe I don't give very well and the idea of writing Him a blank check with my time was really challenging. And I liked the idea of "Give God more than you can manage"
6. Page 115. "Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." How sensible is your life right now?
7. Page 119. "How would my life change if I actually thought of each person I came into contact with as Christ…" This is stupid, but I actually tried this while driving to church the other day. I usually get really mad at people that cut me off on the way into the church parking lot. And I honestly tried to see them as Christ instead of an enemy preventing me from getting a good parking spot.
8. Page 123. "Do we really believe that "it ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our final day?" I rarely think about the final day and all too often live life firmly planted in the right now.
9. Page 127. "What matters is that we spend ourselves." I like that phrase, "spend ourselves." For me, part of that means writing as much as I can and trying to pour out for others what I feel like God is pouring into me. What does spending yourself look like to you?
10. Page 130. “True faith is loving a person after he has hurt you.” What was your reaction to the last person that hurt you?
11. Page 133. “We’ve elevated safety to the neglect of whatever God’s best is …” This was challenging to me because right now I am wrestling with whether I should be doing “this blog writing” more. And I want God to say, “Sure and here’s why it is perfectly safe to do that.” But He won’t. How are you living safe?
12. Page 136. The description of wasting the day by “spending hours connecting with God” was a good push point for me. I once heard another minister say that in the age of busyness we are called to do something that seems wasteful, pray. I also liked the question why “do we assume we could never do anything so radical or intense?”
13. The humble section on page 137 was well timed as I get the opportunity to speak more. God has been planting that idea on my heart a lot lately, that He wants me to get smaller and quieter in His hand while the things around me get louder and pick up the pace.
14. Page 145 kind of asks the question, “What is your thing?” If you did an audit of the way you spent your time last week, what would your thing be?
15. Page 146. “Joy is something that we have to choose and then work for.” I completely agree with that.
Those are my thoughts, what did you make of chapters 6-8?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Next chunk of Crazy Love
Next chunk of Crazy Love
On Wednesday, February 11 we will be discussing chapters 6 - 8 of the book Crazy Love right here.
Jon
On Wednesday, February 11 we will be discussing chapters 6 - 8 of the book Crazy Love right here.
Jon
Friday, January 30, 2009
Guilt Trips
Guilt Trips
I took the post "Guilt Trips" that I wrote on Stuff Christians Like and plugged it into a word mapping tool called www.wordle.net. (All credit goes to them for the coolness)
Here is what it looked like:
I took the post "Guilt Trips" that I wrote on Stuff Christians Like and plugged it into a word mapping tool called www.wordle.net. (All credit goes to them for the coolness)
Here is what it looked like:
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Book Club: Week 2 - Chapters 3-5
Book Club: Week 2 - Chapters 3 - 5, Crazy Love
Wow, I feel like we had some great back and forth discussion about some of the points Chan raised in the first two chapters of Crazy Love. We explored issues like God's punishment of sin, the definition of discipline and how our own experiences can often impact how we view faith.
For this second session of Crazy Love, we're going to go through chapters 3-5. I found them as challenging as the first round of chapters and look forward to hearing what you thought. Here are my ideas from chapters 3-5.
1. "Over time I realized that when we love God, we naturally run to Him—frequently and zealously… Our motivation changes from guilt to love." Pg. 57. I really want that and sometimes, more now then ever before, I experience it. But sometimes, I don't go to the Lord out of an overflow of love and joy, I go to Him because I think that's the right thing to do. The challenge for me is that I often will say, "Well, I need to wait until I feel an overwhelming sense of joy and love before I do my quiet time." I think that's dangerous, because in some ways, love is a choice and our feelings lie. There are a lot of things in life that I don’t “feel” like doing but I still do them out of discipline. Do you ever struggle with that thought process?
2. On page 58, Chan talks about taking a four day spiritual retreat by himself. Have you ever done something like that? What did you do? What do you feel like happened during that time? If you were going to recommend that to another Stuff Christians Like Book Club member, what would you suggest?
3. I love Ephesians 2:10 about us doing works that God prepared in advance for us. That's such a great reminder that it's not about me and my mission, it's about me being obedient to God's mission.
4. "His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you." Pg. 61. I love this and actually spoke on this idea at the Dave Ramsey organization back in October. I need to write about this at some point on SCL, but God doesn't need us, He loves us. There's a huge difference between those two mindsets.
5. Chapter 3 concludes with some questions I've been writing about a lot lately: "Are we in love with God or just His stuff?" "Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you?" Those are great questions to ask yourself. How would you answer? For me, writing this book has forced me to answer those types of questions constantly. From the beginning, God has been asking me, "If the only life that changed from this book you're writing is your own, would that be enough? If all you get out of this experience is a closer relationship with me, is that enough?" Honestly, for a long time, the answer was no. I wanted money or admiration or approval or popularity or a bunch of other stuff. But in the last few months, I've started to realize how temporary and shallow all that stuff is when held up against the all consuming love God offers us.
6. "According to the account in Luke chapter 8, when a crowd started following Him, Jesus began speaking in parables –'so that' those who weren't genuinely listening wouldn't get it. When crowds gather today, speakers are extra conscious of communicating in a way that is accessible to everyone. Speakers don't use Jesus' tactic to eliminate people who are not sincere speakers." Page 66. How do we reconcile this paragraph with the seeker friendly approach to church? Is that even a helpful exercise?
7. Most of chapter 4 focuses on the list of what lukewarm people do. There are 18 different descriptions. Which descriptions could be applied to how you live? For me, I would say that I struggle most with the following:
"Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict." Pg. 69
"Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act." Pg. 70
"Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven." Pg. 75
"Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control." Pg. 77
"Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to." Pg. 78
8. "In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:33. What does giving up everything look like on a daily basis? Because I don't think it's a single act so much as it is a lifestyle.
9. "Is this idea of the non-fruit-bearing Christian something that we have concocted in order to make Christianity 'easier'?” Pg. 85. Good question. I wonder if we did invent the concept of a "casual Christian?"
10. "The reality is that, whether we acknowledge our wealth or not, being rich is a serious disadvantage spiritually." Pg. 90. I don’t know if I ever thought about it this way. I think it's really interesting that he follows this line up with the two stories of the rich man and the camel/needle and then Zacchaeus. I always knew he was a wee little man, but I never really thought about the situation the way he described it "The impossible happened that day –a rich man received his salvation!"
11. I'm not sure who Tim Kizziar is but he dropped a bomb when he said, "Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." Pg. 93
12. Did you do the challenge Chan presented on page 94 where you take 1:Corinthians 13:4-8 and substitute your name where love was? "Jon is patient, Jon does not envy or boast." It would be hard for me to say that last one given how prone I am to arrogance.
13. "We disgust God when we weigh and compare Him against the things of this world." Pg. 97. Do we disgust God? If you're saved and covered in the blood of Christ, does God ever look upon you, and see your actions and say, "You disgust me?" I don't think Chan was saying that exactly, but that's how I read it and I think in my brokenness I could easily interpret that as a call to perform for God and earn His love by doing things that do not disgust Him. Again, not saying that Chan said that, just how the condemnation inside me wanted to take it.
Those are my thoughts. What did you think? What did you like? What did you dislike?
Let's talk.
Wow, I feel like we had some great back and forth discussion about some of the points Chan raised in the first two chapters of Crazy Love. We explored issues like God's punishment of sin, the definition of discipline and how our own experiences can often impact how we view faith.
For this second session of Crazy Love, we're going to go through chapters 3-5. I found them as challenging as the first round of chapters and look forward to hearing what you thought. Here are my ideas from chapters 3-5.
1. "Over time I realized that when we love God, we naturally run to Him—frequently and zealously… Our motivation changes from guilt to love." Pg. 57. I really want that and sometimes, more now then ever before, I experience it. But sometimes, I don't go to the Lord out of an overflow of love and joy, I go to Him because I think that's the right thing to do. The challenge for me is that I often will say, "Well, I need to wait until I feel an overwhelming sense of joy and love before I do my quiet time." I think that's dangerous, because in some ways, love is a choice and our feelings lie. There are a lot of things in life that I don’t “feel” like doing but I still do them out of discipline. Do you ever struggle with that thought process?
2. On page 58, Chan talks about taking a four day spiritual retreat by himself. Have you ever done something like that? What did you do? What do you feel like happened during that time? If you were going to recommend that to another Stuff Christians Like Book Club member, what would you suggest?
3. I love Ephesians 2:10 about us doing works that God prepared in advance for us. That's such a great reminder that it's not about me and my mission, it's about me being obedient to God's mission.
4. "His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you." Pg. 61. I love this and actually spoke on this idea at the Dave Ramsey organization back in October. I need to write about this at some point on SCL, but God doesn't need us, He loves us. There's a huge difference between those two mindsets.
5. Chapter 3 concludes with some questions I've been writing about a lot lately: "Are we in love with God or just His stuff?" "Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you?" Those are great questions to ask yourself. How would you answer? For me, writing this book has forced me to answer those types of questions constantly. From the beginning, God has been asking me, "If the only life that changed from this book you're writing is your own, would that be enough? If all you get out of this experience is a closer relationship with me, is that enough?" Honestly, for a long time, the answer was no. I wanted money or admiration or approval or popularity or a bunch of other stuff. But in the last few months, I've started to realize how temporary and shallow all that stuff is when held up against the all consuming love God offers us.
6. "According to the account in Luke chapter 8, when a crowd started following Him, Jesus began speaking in parables –'so that' those who weren't genuinely listening wouldn't get it. When crowds gather today, speakers are extra conscious of communicating in a way that is accessible to everyone. Speakers don't use Jesus' tactic to eliminate people who are not sincere speakers." Page 66. How do we reconcile this paragraph with the seeker friendly approach to church? Is that even a helpful exercise?
7. Most of chapter 4 focuses on the list of what lukewarm people do. There are 18 different descriptions. Which descriptions could be applied to how you live? For me, I would say that I struggle most with the following:
"Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict." Pg. 69
"Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act." Pg. 70
"Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven." Pg. 75
"Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control." Pg. 77
"Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to." Pg. 78
8. "In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:33. What does giving up everything look like on a daily basis? Because I don't think it's a single act so much as it is a lifestyle.
9. "Is this idea of the non-fruit-bearing Christian something that we have concocted in order to make Christianity 'easier'?” Pg. 85. Good question. I wonder if we did invent the concept of a "casual Christian?"
10. "The reality is that, whether we acknowledge our wealth or not, being rich is a serious disadvantage spiritually." Pg. 90. I don’t know if I ever thought about it this way. I think it's really interesting that he follows this line up with the two stories of the rich man and the camel/needle and then Zacchaeus. I always knew he was a wee little man, but I never really thought about the situation the way he described it "The impossible happened that day –a rich man received his salvation!"
11. I'm not sure who Tim Kizziar is but he dropped a bomb when he said, "Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." Pg. 93
12. Did you do the challenge Chan presented on page 94 where you take 1:Corinthians 13:4-8 and substitute your name where love was? "Jon is patient, Jon does not envy or boast." It would be hard for me to say that last one given how prone I am to arrogance.
13. "We disgust God when we weigh and compare Him against the things of this world." Pg. 97. Do we disgust God? If you're saved and covered in the blood of Christ, does God ever look upon you, and see your actions and say, "You disgust me?" I don't think Chan was saying that exactly, but that's how I read it and I think in my brokenness I could easily interpret that as a call to perform for God and earn His love by doing things that do not disgust Him. Again, not saying that Chan said that, just how the condemnation inside me wanted to take it.
Those are my thoughts. What did you think? What did you like? What did you dislike?
Let's talk.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Book Club Reminder - Wednesday Chapters 3-5
Book Club Reminder - Wednesday, Chapters 3-5
Don't forget, on Wednesday, January 28 we're discussing chapters 3-5 of Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love." I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the "Lukewarm Christian" section.
See you on Wednesday.
Jon
Don't forget, on Wednesday, January 28 we're discussing chapters 3-5 of Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love." I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the "Lukewarm Christian" section.
See you on Wednesday.
Jon
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Apathy is easy, but expensive.
Apathy is easy, but expensive.
When I'm afraid of certain situations, I often try to pretend that I don’t care about the outcome. I insulate myself in a quilt of apathy, and tell everyone that will listen that I'm not really concerned about the future. Worse than that, I try to disguise my apathy with an air of holiness. Take the Stuff Christians Like book that I'm writing for instance. The other night I told my wife something like, "I don’t really care if it sells a ton of copies as long as God's will is done." She immediately called me on that lie, because she's great like that, but that thought is so deceptive. It's true, God's will is infinitely more important than the sales figures. I believe that, but because I'm afraid the book won't sell well I'm trying to avoid the hurt of that possibility by pretending I don't care now. And I've used the truth of God's will as a way to mask that fear in fake holiness. But in praying about that, in wrestling with the idea that I use apathy as an escape method, I realized something:
Apathy is easy, but expensive.
It costs you vulnerability.
It costs you honesty.
Above all it costs you hope.
And regardless of my fear, that's a price I am not willing to pay.
When I'm afraid of certain situations, I often try to pretend that I don’t care about the outcome. I insulate myself in a quilt of apathy, and tell everyone that will listen that I'm not really concerned about the future. Worse than that, I try to disguise my apathy with an air of holiness. Take the Stuff Christians Like book that I'm writing for instance. The other night I told my wife something like, "I don’t really care if it sells a ton of copies as long as God's will is done." She immediately called me on that lie, because she's great like that, but that thought is so deceptive. It's true, God's will is infinitely more important than the sales figures. I believe that, but because I'm afraid the book won't sell well I'm trying to avoid the hurt of that possibility by pretending I don't care now. And I've used the truth of God's will as a way to mask that fear in fake holiness. But in praying about that, in wrestling with the idea that I use apathy as an escape method, I realized something:
Apathy is easy, but expensive.
It costs you vulnerability.
It costs you honesty.
Above all it costs you hope.
And regardless of my fear, that's a price I am not willing to pay.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Next chunk of Crazy Love
Next chunk of Crazy Love
Great discussion so far. It's been fun to see people with different ideas about the book "Crazy Love" checking in.
On Wednesday, January 28th, we'll be discussing chapters 3-5.
In the meantime, Katdish sent me an article that Catalyst did with Chan called "A Gathering Force."
Here is the intro paragraph. Check out the rest if you get a chance:
Is there any logic in believing that God started His Church as a Spirit-filled, loving body with the intention that it would evolve into entertaining, hour-long services? Was he hoping that one day people would be attracted to the Church not because they care for one another, not because they are devoted to Him, not because the supernatural occurs in their midst, but because of good music and entertainment?
Great discussion so far. It's been fun to see people with different ideas about the book "Crazy Love" checking in.
On Wednesday, January 28th, we'll be discussing chapters 3-5.
In the meantime, Katdish sent me an article that Catalyst did with Chan called "A Gathering Force."
Here is the intro paragraph. Check out the rest if you get a chance:
Is there any logic in believing that God started His Church as a Spirit-filled, loving body with the intention that it would evolve into entertaining, hour-long services? Was he hoping that one day people would be attracted to the Church not because they care for one another, not because they are devoted to Him, not because the supernatural occurs in their midst, but because of good music and entertainment?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Stuff Christians Like Book Club - Francis Chan - Crazy Love
The Stuff Christians Like Book Club - Francis Chan - Crazy LoveToday, we're going to talk about the first two chapters of Francis Chan's book, "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God." If you read it, great. If you didn't, there's still time to join the SCLBC because we won't discuss the next section (chapters 3-5) until Wednesday, January 28th. You can buy the book here at Amazon.com
or get it at your local library.My hope is that this won't be me writing a book review and folks then responding to that book review. I'd rather treat this like a discussion, as if we all got together in someone's living room and just started talking about the book. So let's throw out some questions for each other, be honest about the things we liked, the things we were challenged by, the sections we would challenge etc.
The first chunk of Crazy Love - Pages 1 -52
I'll go first in simple numerical fashion:
1. Did you read the preface and the foreword?
2. I loved that Chan says upfront on page 18, "Don't worry-this isn't another book written to bash churches." I'm pretty tired of the whole "church as a pinata" approach to things.
3. I liked that on page 20, he described his initial church teachings as "incomplete" and not "incorrect." I think about that a lot because I'm afraid that as I mature I'll look back on something I wrote on a blog or a book and say, "Wow, I was really wrong about that." But I think to some degree, the more time we spend with God, the more time we spend in the Bible, the more we mature and hopefully grow passed our initial thoughts.
4. Did you go watch the online videos when the book told you to? I did eventually, but not right away. Sometimes I wasn't near a computer when I was reading it.
5. "God will not be tolerated," a statement on page 28, was really challenging to me.
6. "We don't get to decide who God is," on page 31 rocked me a little. All too often I wake up in the morning and try to dress up God like Mister Potatohead, "OK God, today, you're going to be a super helpful generous God. Here's a wheelbarrow to carry all the gifts you're going to give me." But I don't get to decide who He is.
7. I wanted to side hug the sentence, "Isn’t it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?" (Page 31.)
8. I didn't love the soda can/ocean analogy on page 32. I felt like some of the other analogies in the book were a lot stronger.
9. "As much as we want God to explain himself to us, His creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us." (Page 33) Do you ever do that? I do it all the time. "God, why hasn't this job come through yet, why is so and so being such a punk to me, why haven't you rescued me from this situation?" I think it's good to honestly and openly ask God questions, but demanding answers is a whole other thing. What answers do you demand from God?
10. I struggle with worry. I'm getting better at handling stress and worry, but anxiety is still a drug I sometimes try to get high on. Chan's section about worry starting on page 40 was great. From his excuse of "I couldn't really help it that I was the worrying kind" to his thought, "When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice," I was blown away. Am I the only one that missed that "rejoice" is a command?
11. I liked the movie extra analogy on page 42. I remember sitting on a train going through Italy once and looking out the window at all the villages and people speeding by and thinking, "None of these people know I exist or how important my silly problems and challenges are. Maybe I'm one small person in a much bigger story." Going to the beach always makes me feel like an extra because the grandness of God feels overwhelming there in a good way.
12. I wanted to clap when I read this section on page 45, "If life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don’t have control, because it makes me run to God." I want to live that way and sometimes I do. But sometimes, I hate the unknowns, and think that if I was a "real Christian," I'd have a better plan for life and would have it all "figured out." Do you ever feel that way or do you embrace the unknowns like Chan?
13. The story of Stan Gerlach on page 46 made me cry, especially the line, "One second he was confessing Jesus; a second later, Jesus was confessing him!"
14. 1 Corinthians 3:15 is a tough verse to swallow: "If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." I've never thought about the idea that I could lead a quiet Christian life and end up "as one escaping through the flames." Have you?
Those are the things I would say if I were sitting on a flowered hand me down couch in my living room.
Did you like the first two chapters? Was there anything you loved or hated?
Introduce yourself if you don’t mind with your first comment. First name and city, state, country. (If you’re comfortable with that)
I’m Jon and I live in Alpharetta, Georgia which is in the United States.
Let's talk about the book.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
The car crash, the note, the beauty of things that don't make sense.
The car crash, the note, the beauty of things that don't make sense.
There are a few reasons I love what pastor Shaun King wrote about a car crash he was in:
1. The title of his post was "I experienced a miracle and I'm not a loon."
2. It contains these words:
"Knowing that I would not be able to talk once they started operating on my face (while I was awake), I began to beg nurses to write a note on my chest that said,
There are a few reasons I love what pastor Shaun King wrote about a car crash he was in:
1. The title of his post was "I experienced a miracle and I'm not a loon."
2. It contains these words:
"Knowing that I would not be able to talk once they started operating on my face (while I was awake), I began to beg nurses to write a note on my chest that said,
"I still believe in the Goodness of the Lord"
After begging two nurses to write the note and trying to tell them that I wasn't crazy, the third nurse wrote the note and placed it on my chest. I asked her to not let anyone remove the note and pointed to it every chance I got. It is on my chest with my blood on it in this photo.
3. It reminds me that God is big and wild and unexplainable.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Everybody is somebody.
Everybody is somebody.
"Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."
That's a quote from an article a friend sent me the other day. A high school football coach decided to cheer for the other team, a group of players currently serving jail time. In essence, when the world told them they were nobody, this coach showed them that everybody is somebody in God's eyes.
It's a beautiful example of what it means to love your neighbor.
Check it out if you get a chance.
"Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."
That's a quote from an article a friend sent me the other day. A high school football coach decided to cheer for the other team, a group of players currently serving jail time. In essence, when the world told them they were nobody, this coach showed them that everybody is somebody in God's eyes.
It's a beautiful example of what it means to love your neighbor.
Check it out if you get a chance.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
How much?
A friend in Australia sent me this clip. In it, Penn, of the comic duo "Penn & Teller" asks a really bold question after a stranger gives him a Bible. His explanation of why we desperately need to witness to people completely caught me off guard.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
two words, one lie
two words, one lie
The devil is more than willing, and very able, to tell you what a Christian should be.
A Christian should feel happy all the time.
A Christian should be rich.
A Christian should never doubt.
A Christian should know more Bible by now.
A real Christian should never have a marriage that is broken, a child that is run away or a hope that feels small and extinguished.
A real Christian should never be hurt or lonely or sad or angry or stressed or depressed or confused.
Painting a picture of what a Christian should be is perhaps the devil's favorite activity.
But, he will never be able to tell you what a Christian can be.
He cannot plumb the depths of God's love within us.
He cannot fathom the might of God's power within us.
He cannot comprehend the relentless pursuit of God's grace within us.
He cannot tell you what a Christian can be, but he will whisper aggressively what a Christian should be.
The challenge is not to confuse those two words, can and should. Because one produces shame and condemnation, attempting to put limits on a God that is limitless. The other, shines a light on a God in which all things are possible.
Can and should.
Which one do you hear most?
Which one are you listening to?
The devil is more than willing, and very able, to tell you what a Christian should be.
A Christian should feel happy all the time.
A Christian should be rich.
A Christian should never doubt.
A Christian should know more Bible by now.
A real Christian should never have a marriage that is broken, a child that is run away or a hope that feels small and extinguished.
A real Christian should never be hurt or lonely or sad or angry or stressed or depressed or confused.
Painting a picture of what a Christian should be is perhaps the devil's favorite activity.
But, he will never be able to tell you what a Christian can be.
He cannot plumb the depths of God's love within us.
He cannot fathom the might of God's power within us.
He cannot comprehend the relentless pursuit of God's grace within us.
He cannot tell you what a Christian can be, but he will whisper aggressively what a Christian should be.
The challenge is not to confuse those two words, can and should. Because one produces shame and condemnation, attempting to put limits on a God that is limitless. The other, shines a light on a God in which all things are possible.
Can and should.
Which one do you hear most?
Which one are you listening to?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Awake and asleep.
Awake and asleep.
I read an article in last month’s Men’s Journal about some coal miners that died in a tragic accident. While trapped miles under the earth, with their oxygen running out and death coming quickly, the men decided to write some notes to the people they loved.
One note said:
“It wasn’t bad. I just went to sleep.”
That is a gift,
if you are dying.
That is the only thing you can give your family and the people that love you. That was a kindness, a man letting his family know that he did not suffer. I was overwhelmed by the selflessness of that action. With only a few short breaths left, that man did not focus on the pain he was in, but instead used his last energy to do everything he could to ease the pain of the people he loved.
But if you are alive,
if you still have years ahead of you, if you are still above ground, breathing and living, that note is note a gift.
It is a curse.
It is a note that I wrote to describe my own life for many, many years.
“It wasn’t bad. I just went to sleep.”
Things weren’t horrible, I just went to sleep. I stopped caring about anyone but me. I stopped giving and focused on taking. I let go of risk and settled into a nice, safe, comfortable life.
“It wasn’t bad. I just went to sleep.”
I am tired of living that way. Tired of writing that note. Tired of being those words.
I don’t know if you’re like me and it’s easy for you to fall asleep. Easy to focus on the wrong things. Easy to miss the love and the life and the joy God keeps whispering in the corners of your day.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
That is my prayer for 2009. That I would not sleep. That I would not live a life that is really not all that alive. That I would remember Revelation 16:15, “blessed is he who stays awake.”
What kind of note will you write this year?
I read an article in last month’s Men’s Journal about some coal miners that died in a tragic accident. While trapped miles under the earth, with their oxygen running out and death coming quickly, the men decided to write some notes to the people they loved.
One note said:
“It wasn’t bad. I just went to sleep.”
That is a gift,
if you are dying.
That is the only thing you can give your family and the people that love you. That was a kindness, a man letting his family know that he did not suffer. I was overwhelmed by the selflessness of that action. With only a few short breaths left, that man did not focus on the pain he was in, but instead used his last energy to do everything he could to ease the pain of the people he loved.
But if you are alive,
if you still have years ahead of you, if you are still above ground, breathing and living, that note is note a gift.
It is a curse.
It is a note that I wrote to describe my own life for many, many years.
“It wasn’t bad. I just went to sleep.”
Things weren’t horrible, I just went to sleep. I stopped caring about anyone but me. I stopped giving and focused on taking. I let go of risk and settled into a nice, safe, comfortable life.
“It wasn’t bad. I just went to sleep.”
I am tired of living that way. Tired of writing that note. Tired of being those words.
I don’t know if you’re like me and it’s easy for you to fall asleep. Easy to focus on the wrong things. Easy to miss the love and the life and the joy God keeps whispering in the corners of your day.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
That is my prayer for 2009. That I would not sleep. That I would not live a life that is really not all that alive. That I would remember Revelation 16:15, “blessed is he who stays awake.”
What kind of note will you write this year?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
How to love a prodigal - part 1
How to love a prodigal - part 1
One of the first things that happens in a prodigal situation, a moment in which a child emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically runs away from home is that a moral chasm is opened. I'm not talking about the obvious gulf that exists between parent and child in this situation. The separation of geographical distance, age or ideas. I'm taking about the distance between wrong and right, good and evil, clean and dirty.
What happens is that even though you might not try to do this, it's often tempting to live your life better when your son or daughter leaves the farm so to speak. To be a brighter light of God and Christian values and truth and peace. To show them more clearly the things they are missing by their voluntary decision to leave the safety of your home. You can see this in communication styles. I am sarcastic and if someone does not respond to that, I just get more and more sarcastic. What was a tiny distance becomes huge as they back away further and I keep going and going, thinking that more of the thing that has separated us will fix the separation.
I think that is noble in a way, but it does the opposite of what we intend. We think it will make the mistakes they are making easier to see. That it will shine a light on their situation. But it doesn't always do that. Like the silence of a church sanctuary amplifies the loudness of a cell phone ring, the righteousness of your behavior sometimes makes the wrongness of your child bigger.
Instead of closing the gap between us, it actually makes it greater. It stretches the distance further and further as the parent comes to represent the good and the child comes to represent the bad. Sides are drawn with more distinction instead of less and the gap grows exponentially.
How do you sidestep this? You might not be able to instantly close the distance between you in this moment, but how do you at the bare minimum keep it from earthquaking open even more?
You share your junk.
You tell your story. The good parts, the bad parts, the beautiful parts, the ugly parts. You fight the urge to simply multiply your good qualities as a parent and instead do the opposite. You confess your faults. You confess your own trash and share the grossness of your own life with your child.
That might feel like the opposite of what you should do. That might be exactly what a million books on parenting tell you. The only research I am pulling from is my own life and the lives of dozens of prodigals I know. But here is what happens when you share your junk in the middle of a prodigal story:
1. You earn life currency.
Even if you've been a horrible parent and are in no position to be labeled as the good one in this story, there is still going to be an amazing amount of guilt your child is dealing with right now. They will think you could never understand what they are going through or why they are making the decisions they are making. By sharing your story, you show them that you speak their language too. And that you are not perfect.
2. You close the gap a little.
You can't instantly eliminate the gap and maintain some healthy boundaries that actually teach your child the impact of consequences. But you can take small steps toward them by admitting your own weaknesses. You take subtle steps from the "good side" of the situation and take powerful steps toward the "honest side" of the situation when you talk openly. It's like deliberately tearing down the white wall of righteousness that grew tall the minute they left. And if they have legitimate reasons for leaving because of your hurtful actions, it gives you the space to confess what you've done wrong.
3. You remove the "inventor's curse."
I think I made this term up so it requires some explanation. When we mess up, we are immediately inflicted by the "inventor's curse." This is that little voice inside us that says, "No one has ever failed like this. No one has ever done something so wrong. You are the only one in the world that struggles with this." And so your child sits alone, on an island, weighed down heavy by the inventor's curse. Sharing your junk with them puts you on that island with them and destroys the inventor's curse.
This idea is difficult to execute because you don't want to be the parent that says, "I smoked pot too when I was in college. No big deal. Party on!" You have to be hyper careful that what you share is not romanticized by your words or made light of. And you have to be very smart about what you choose to share. This is not a full disclosure moment, a husband being honest with a wife. You have to make sure that in your confession you do not simply hand them something heavy to hold. The last thing a prodigal child needs is to now wrestle with the weight of some deep dark secret you carried for decades. You are not confessing to be free of something, you are confessing to share something.
Counselors and people that are trained are so much smarter than I am when it comes to this stuff. And I can't speak highly enough of the four I have seen in the last 10 years. But if you're not ready to see a counselor yet, hopefully you are ready to read a blog and maybe wrestle with the problem of the prodigal in a slightly different way.
One of the first things that happens in a prodigal situation, a moment in which a child emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically runs away from home is that a moral chasm is opened. I'm not talking about the obvious gulf that exists between parent and child in this situation. The separation of geographical distance, age or ideas. I'm taking about the distance between wrong and right, good and evil, clean and dirty.
What happens is that even though you might not try to do this, it's often tempting to live your life better when your son or daughter leaves the farm so to speak. To be a brighter light of God and Christian values and truth and peace. To show them more clearly the things they are missing by their voluntary decision to leave the safety of your home. You can see this in communication styles. I am sarcastic and if someone does not respond to that, I just get more and more sarcastic. What was a tiny distance becomes huge as they back away further and I keep going and going, thinking that more of the thing that has separated us will fix the separation.
I think that is noble in a way, but it does the opposite of what we intend. We think it will make the mistakes they are making easier to see. That it will shine a light on their situation. But it doesn't always do that. Like the silence of a church sanctuary amplifies the loudness of a cell phone ring, the righteousness of your behavior sometimes makes the wrongness of your child bigger.
Instead of closing the gap between us, it actually makes it greater. It stretches the distance further and further as the parent comes to represent the good and the child comes to represent the bad. Sides are drawn with more distinction instead of less and the gap grows exponentially.
How do you sidestep this? You might not be able to instantly close the distance between you in this moment, but how do you at the bare minimum keep it from earthquaking open even more?
You share your junk.
You tell your story. The good parts, the bad parts, the beautiful parts, the ugly parts. You fight the urge to simply multiply your good qualities as a parent and instead do the opposite. You confess your faults. You confess your own trash and share the grossness of your own life with your child.
That might feel like the opposite of what you should do. That might be exactly what a million books on parenting tell you. The only research I am pulling from is my own life and the lives of dozens of prodigals I know. But here is what happens when you share your junk in the middle of a prodigal story:
1. You earn life currency.
Even if you've been a horrible parent and are in no position to be labeled as the good one in this story, there is still going to be an amazing amount of guilt your child is dealing with right now. They will think you could never understand what they are going through or why they are making the decisions they are making. By sharing your story, you show them that you speak their language too. And that you are not perfect.
2. You close the gap a little.
You can't instantly eliminate the gap and maintain some healthy boundaries that actually teach your child the impact of consequences. But you can take small steps toward them by admitting your own weaknesses. You take subtle steps from the "good side" of the situation and take powerful steps toward the "honest side" of the situation when you talk openly. It's like deliberately tearing down the white wall of righteousness that grew tall the minute they left. And if they have legitimate reasons for leaving because of your hurtful actions, it gives you the space to confess what you've done wrong.
3. You remove the "inventor's curse."
I think I made this term up so it requires some explanation. When we mess up, we are immediately inflicted by the "inventor's curse." This is that little voice inside us that says, "No one has ever failed like this. No one has ever done something so wrong. You are the only one in the world that struggles with this." And so your child sits alone, on an island, weighed down heavy by the inventor's curse. Sharing your junk with them puts you on that island with them and destroys the inventor's curse.
This idea is difficult to execute because you don't want to be the parent that says, "I smoked pot too when I was in college. No big deal. Party on!" You have to be hyper careful that what you share is not romanticized by your words or made light of. And you have to be very smart about what you choose to share. This is not a full disclosure moment, a husband being honest with a wife. You have to make sure that in your confession you do not simply hand them something heavy to hold. The last thing a prodigal child needs is to now wrestle with the weight of some deep dark secret you carried for decades. You are not confessing to be free of something, you are confessing to share something.
Counselors and people that are trained are so much smarter than I am when it comes to this stuff. And I can't speak highly enough of the four I have seen in the last 10 years. But if you're not ready to see a counselor yet, hopefully you are ready to read a blog and maybe wrestle with the problem of the prodigal in a slightly different way.
How to love a prodigal - part 1
One of the first things that happens in a prodigal situation, a moment in which a child emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically runs away from home is that a moral chasm is opened. I'm not talking about the obvious gulf that exists between parent and child in this situation. The separation of geographical distance, age or ideas. I'm taking about the distance between wrong and right, good and evil, clean and dirty.
What happens is that even though you might not try to do this, it's often tempting to live your life better when your son or daughter leaves the farm so to speak. To be a brighter light of God and Christian values and truth and peace. To show them more clearly the things they are missing by their voluntary decision to leave the safety of your home. You can see this in communication styles. I am sarcastic and if someone does not respond to that, I just get more and more sarcastic. What was a tiny distance becomes huge as they back away further and I keep going and going, thinking that more of the thing that has separated us will fix the separation.
I think that is noble in a way, but it does the opposite of what we intend. We think it will make the mistakes they are making easier to see. That it will shine a light on their situation. But it doesn't always do that. Like the silence of a church sanctuary amplifies the loudness of a cell phone ring, the righteousness of your behavior sometimes makes the wrongness of your child bigger.
Instead of closing the gap between us, it actually makes it greater. It stretches the distance further and further as the parent comes to represent the good and the child comes to represent the bad. Sides are drawn with more distinction instead of less and the gap grows exponentially.
How do you sidestep this? You might not be able to instantly close the distance between you in this moment, but how do you at the bare minimum keep it from earthquaking open even more?
You share your junk.
You tell your story. The good parts, the bad parts, the beautiful parts, the ugly parts. You fight the urge to simply multiply your good qualities as a parent and instead do the opposite. You confess your faults. You confess your own trash and share the grossness of your own life with your child.
That might feel like the opposite of what you should do. That might be exactly what a million books on parenting tell you. The only research I am pulling from is my own life and the lives of dozens of prodigals I know. But here is what happens when you share your junk in the middle of a prodigal story:
1. You earn life currency.
Even if you've been a horrible parent and are in no position to be labeled as the good one in this story, there is still going to be an amazing amount of guilt your child is dealing with right now. They will think you could never understand what they are going through or why they are making the decisions they are making. By sharing your story, you show them that you speak their language too. And that you are not perfect.
2. You close the gap a little.
You can't instantly eliminate the gap and maintain some healthy boundaries that actually teach your child the impact of consequences. But you can take small steps toward them by admitting your own weaknesses. You take subtle steps from the "good side" of the situation and take powerful steps toward the "honest side" of the situation when you talk openly. It's like deliberately tearing down the white wall of righteousness that grew tall the minute they left. And if they have legitimate reasons for leaving because of your hurtful actions, it gives you the space to confess what you've done wrong.
3. You remove the "inventor's curse."
I think I made this term up so it requires some explanation. When we mess up, we are immediately inflicted by the "inventor's curse." This is that little voice inside us that says, "No one has ever failed like this. No one has ever done something so wrong. You are the only one in the world that struggles with this." And so your child sits alone, on an island, weighed down heavy by the inventor's curse. Sharing your junk with them puts you on that island with them and destroys the inventor's curse.
This idea is difficult to execute because you don't want to be the parent that says, "I smoked pot too when I was in college. No big deal. Party on!" You have to be hyper careful that what you share is not romanticized by your words or made light of. And you have to be very smart about what you choose to share. This is not a full disclosure moment, a husband being honest with a wife. You have to make sure that in your confession you do not simply hand them something heavy to hold. The last thing a prodigal child needs is to now wrestle with the weight of some deep dark secret you carried for decades. You are not confessing to be free of something, you are confessing to share something.
Counselors and people that are trained are so much smarter than I am when it comes to this stuff. And I can't speak highly enough of the four I have seen in the last 10 years. But if you're not ready to see a counselor yet, hopefully you are ready to read a blog and maybe wrestle with the problem of the prodigal in a slightly different way.
What happens is that even though you might not try to do this, it's often tempting to live your life better when your son or daughter leaves the farm so to speak. To be a brighter light of God and Christian values and truth and peace. To show them more clearly the things they are missing by their voluntary decision to leave the safety of your home. You can see this in communication styles. I am sarcastic and if someone does not respond to that, I just get more and more sarcastic. What was a tiny distance becomes huge as they back away further and I keep going and going, thinking that more of the thing that has separated us will fix the separation.
I think that is noble in a way, but it does the opposite of what we intend. We think it will make the mistakes they are making easier to see. That it will shine a light on their situation. But it doesn't always do that. Like the silence of a church sanctuary amplifies the loudness of a cell phone ring, the righteousness of your behavior sometimes makes the wrongness of your child bigger.
Instead of closing the gap between us, it actually makes it greater. It stretches the distance further and further as the parent comes to represent the good and the child comes to represent the bad. Sides are drawn with more distinction instead of less and the gap grows exponentially.
How do you sidestep this? You might not be able to instantly close the distance between you in this moment, but how do you at the bare minimum keep it from earthquaking open even more?
You share your junk.
You tell your story. The good parts, the bad parts, the beautiful parts, the ugly parts. You fight the urge to simply multiply your good qualities as a parent and instead do the opposite. You confess your faults. You confess your own trash and share the grossness of your own life with your child.
That might feel like the opposite of what you should do. That might be exactly what a million books on parenting tell you. The only research I am pulling from is my own life and the lives of dozens of prodigals I know. But here is what happens when you share your junk in the middle of a prodigal story:
1. You earn life currency.
Even if you've been a horrible parent and are in no position to be labeled as the good one in this story, there is still going to be an amazing amount of guilt your child is dealing with right now. They will think you could never understand what they are going through or why they are making the decisions they are making. By sharing your story, you show them that you speak their language too. And that you are not perfect.
2. You close the gap a little.
You can't instantly eliminate the gap and maintain some healthy boundaries that actually teach your child the impact of consequences. But you can take small steps toward them by admitting your own weaknesses. You take subtle steps from the "good side" of the situation and take powerful steps toward the "honest side" of the situation when you talk openly. It's like deliberately tearing down the white wall of righteousness that grew tall the minute they left. And if they have legitimate reasons for leaving because of your hurtful actions, it gives you the space to confess what you've done wrong.
3. You remove the "inventor's curse."
I think I made this term up so it requires some explanation. When we mess up, we are immediately inflicted by the "inventor's curse." This is that little voice inside us that says, "No one has ever failed like this. No one has ever done something so wrong. You are the only one in the world that struggles with this." And so your child sits alone, on an island, weighed down heavy by the inventor's curse. Sharing your junk with them puts you on that island with them and destroys the inventor's curse.
This idea is difficult to execute because you don't want to be the parent that says, "I smoked pot too when I was in college. No big deal. Party on!" You have to be hyper careful that what you share is not romanticized by your words or made light of. And you have to be very smart about what you choose to share. This is not a full disclosure moment, a husband being honest with a wife. You have to make sure that in your confession you do not simply hand them something heavy to hold. The last thing a prodigal child needs is to now wrestle with the weight of some deep dark secret you carried for decades. You are not confessing to be free of something, you are confessing to share something.
Counselors and people that are trained are so much smarter than I am when it comes to this stuff. And I can't speak highly enough of the four I have seen in the last 10 years. But if you're not ready to see a counselor yet, hopefully you are ready to read a blog and maybe wrestle with the problem of the prodigal in a slightly different way.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The lady in the corner.
The lady in the corner.
One of the greatest benefits of writing a blog is that you get to hear some really beautiful stories. The other day, I wrote a post about how there are essentially three types of pastors' wives. It will a silly little post, with very little grit to it, but one comment really surprised me. I wanted to share it with you.
I had an English pastor's wife growing up. I think she went to some dark and gloomy boarding school that taught courses like Missionary Tea Parties and Slamming Certain People Without Ever Cussing. She was 4 feet nothing and whenever we'd have a sleep over with her daughters, she wore heeled slippers late at night, in case someone came over and saw how short she was. All I wanted to say was "Lady, you're a hobbit, get over it." She was as tough as nails and as kind as a Queen.
The event that sealed her "scary wonderfulness" in my mind was her daughter's birthday party. It was the very early 1970's. We were a noisy crowd of happy little girls who were giddy and squealing. But in the corner sat an older woman none of us knew. She just sat and smiled at us, and then she'd look out the window to somewhere far away. I asked my friend's mom/The aforementioned Pastor's Wife who this woman was and why she just watched us. My friend's mom replied, "well, she just wanted to be around us at the party, to enjoy all the fun we're having." I smiled and said "Oh".
Then years later I realized WHY this woman was allowed to sit quietly and just observe some happy children. I noticed at the party that she had big numbers written all down her arm, but I didn't realized until I was older that they weren't written in pen, they were tattoos.
And my very first Pastor's Wife had allowed this lonely, childless mother to spend time in the company of happy, healthy children.
I have yet to see that level of suffering in the 38 years since. Or that level of kindness.
It's funny when it happens, but sometimes people show you the most perfectly simple, perfectly stunning ways to live out your faith. Thank you JennyM.
One of the greatest benefits of writing a blog is that you get to hear some really beautiful stories. The other day, I wrote a post about how there are essentially three types of pastors' wives. It will a silly little post, with very little grit to it, but one comment really surprised me. I wanted to share it with you.
I had an English pastor's wife growing up. I think she went to some dark and gloomy boarding school that taught courses like Missionary Tea Parties and Slamming Certain People Without Ever Cussing. She was 4 feet nothing and whenever we'd have a sleep over with her daughters, she wore heeled slippers late at night, in case someone came over and saw how short she was. All I wanted to say was "Lady, you're a hobbit, get over it." She was as tough as nails and as kind as a Queen.
The event that sealed her "scary wonderfulness" in my mind was her daughter's birthday party. It was the very early 1970's. We were a noisy crowd of happy little girls who were giddy and squealing. But in the corner sat an older woman none of us knew. She just sat and smiled at us, and then she'd look out the window to somewhere far away. I asked my friend's mom/The aforementioned Pastor's Wife who this woman was and why she just watched us. My friend's mom replied, "well, she just wanted to be around us at the party, to enjoy all the fun we're having." I smiled and said "Oh".
Then years later I realized WHY this woman was allowed to sit quietly and just observe some happy children. I noticed at the party that she had big numbers written all down her arm, but I didn't realized until I was older that they weren't written in pen, they were tattoos.
And my very first Pastor's Wife had allowed this lonely, childless mother to spend time in the company of happy, healthy children.
I have yet to see that level of suffering in the 38 years since. Or that level of kindness.
It's funny when it happens, but sometimes people show you the most perfectly simple, perfectly stunning ways to live out your faith. Thank you JennyM.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
One more reason I should be a cheesy minister.
One more reason I should be a cheesy minister.
The other day someone asked me about making fun of the church. I told them I didn't think I was making fun of the church. I feel like my mission is to clear away the debris that sometimes presents us from seeing the beauty of faith. Whether that means silly products, old thought patterns or a million other things, I think there is great power when we can collectively identify and discuss the things that sometimes stand between us and the core of our relationships with Christ. We might not agree, but we can at least open up some discussion.
Another reason I don't feel like I am punching the church is that the target of most of my finger pointing is me. Things I have struggled with, things that tangle me and trip me, stupid things I do. That is hopefully what is on parade more than anything else. And I want to do that today.
What I am going to tell you is the kind of thing I would usually tease. It's just kind of cheesy but for so long I've been a Christian snob, throwing little rocks at ideas that don't fit my definition of "cool," whatever that is.
So here's my idea. Last night while mowing the lawn, I was mentally writing a post in my head. I kept asking God, "why." Why am I writing this post? Why am I sharing personal stuff? Why am I doing it? As a former Journalism major, it's part of the 5 Ws (Who, What, When, Where and Why.) I think those are good questions to ask, but sometimes I obsess on them, demanding a clear answer from God like I'm a petulant child.
I felt like in between lines in the lawn He responded with, "Let me worry about the 5 Ws. You focus on the one M." I said, "What M? What one M are you talking about?" And He replied, "Me."
There are times when I get details and times when I don't. I didn't get an answer to my "why" last night, but I did get a reminder, although perhaps cheesy, about what matters more.
God is where my focus needs to be. The one M.
The other day someone asked me about making fun of the church. I told them I didn't think I was making fun of the church. I feel like my mission is to clear away the debris that sometimes presents us from seeing the beauty of faith. Whether that means silly products, old thought patterns or a million other things, I think there is great power when we can collectively identify and discuss the things that sometimes stand between us and the core of our relationships with Christ. We might not agree, but we can at least open up some discussion.
Another reason I don't feel like I am punching the church is that the target of most of my finger pointing is me. Things I have struggled with, things that tangle me and trip me, stupid things I do. That is hopefully what is on parade more than anything else. And I want to do that today.
What I am going to tell you is the kind of thing I would usually tease. It's just kind of cheesy but for so long I've been a Christian snob, throwing little rocks at ideas that don't fit my definition of "cool," whatever that is.
So here's my idea. Last night while mowing the lawn, I was mentally writing a post in my head. I kept asking God, "why." Why am I writing this post? Why am I sharing personal stuff? Why am I doing it? As a former Journalism major, it's part of the 5 Ws (Who, What, When, Where and Why.) I think those are good questions to ask, but sometimes I obsess on them, demanding a clear answer from God like I'm a petulant child.
I felt like in between lines in the lawn He responded with, "Let me worry about the 5 Ws. You focus on the one M." I said, "What M? What one M are you talking about?" And He replied, "Me."
There are times when I get details and times when I don't. I didn't get an answer to my "why" last night, but I did get a reminder, although perhaps cheesy, about what matters more.
God is where my focus needs to be. The one M.
Monday, July 14, 2008
That's pretend, right?
That's pretend, right?
It rained today for a few hours and it felt weird because we haven't had a ton of that in the last year in Georgia. We've had some off and on showers, but we've been struggling with a drought that has robbed our lakes and placed several water bans on our neighborhoods.
The weird thing is that until you don't get any rain, you take it for granted. You just expect that it will happen. That is what naturally happens. Water falls from the sky, clouds open up, flowers and trees and birds get a drink. But when you don't have rain, when it just stops for a week or a month or a year, you suddenly realize how much you've been taking it for granted.
The other day, my daughter dropped a child-sized nuclear bomb on me that reminded me of something else I have taken for granted.
We were looking at a book on storms, something she loves right now, and came to a page about drought and famine. In the corner of the page was a little boy from Ethiopia. He was starving, with ribs sticking out and flies covering his small face. I kept flipping the pages but L.E. made me stop and return to that one. She asked, "What's that?" I told her, "That's a little boy that doesn't have enough food to eat. He is poor." She thought for a few seconds and then responded, "That's not real though. That's pretend right?"
This simple question floored me. In her mind, deep within the truth that is the heart of a four year old, she could literally not fathom a child ever being hungry. The idea that someone would starve did not make any sense. Death by poverty did not register with her. She thought it was unreal.
I confess that I take poverty for granted. I flipped right by that photo without registering even the faintest emotion I throw at ABC's Extreme Home Makeover. I act like poverty is natural. That starving is just something that happens. That kids without food is the way the world is.
But maybe it's not. Maybe when Christ said he wants us to have the faith of a child, this is exactly what He was talking about. That it is unacceptable for a child to starve to death. That it is not right or natural for another human being to die of a preventable disease or a mosquito bite or water that is polluted.
I support a few charities and tonight I registered a new website, unrealpoverty.com. There is nothing up right now and I don't know if I will ever be able to do anything with it. But if things continue to go the way they are going and people to continue to build a community around the conversations we are having online, maybe someday I'll get to start a charity. Maybe someday I won't take poverty for granted. Maybe someday I'll help make it unreal.
It rained today for a few hours and it felt weird because we haven't had a ton of that in the last year in Georgia. We've had some off and on showers, but we've been struggling with a drought that has robbed our lakes and placed several water bans on our neighborhoods.
The weird thing is that until you don't get any rain, you take it for granted. You just expect that it will happen. That is what naturally happens. Water falls from the sky, clouds open up, flowers and trees and birds get a drink. But when you don't have rain, when it just stops for a week or a month or a year, you suddenly realize how much you've been taking it for granted.
The other day, my daughter dropped a child-sized nuclear bomb on me that reminded me of something else I have taken for granted.
We were looking at a book on storms, something she loves right now, and came to a page about drought and famine. In the corner of the page was a little boy from Ethiopia. He was starving, with ribs sticking out and flies covering his small face. I kept flipping the pages but L.E. made me stop and return to that one. She asked, "What's that?" I told her, "That's a little boy that doesn't have enough food to eat. He is poor." She thought for a few seconds and then responded, "That's not real though. That's pretend right?"
This simple question floored me. In her mind, deep within the truth that is the heart of a four year old, she could literally not fathom a child ever being hungry. The idea that someone would starve did not make any sense. Death by poverty did not register with her. She thought it was unreal.
I confess that I take poverty for granted. I flipped right by that photo without registering even the faintest emotion I throw at ABC's Extreme Home Makeover. I act like poverty is natural. That starving is just something that happens. That kids without food is the way the world is.
But maybe it's not. Maybe when Christ said he wants us to have the faith of a child, this is exactly what He was talking about. That it is unacceptable for a child to starve to death. That it is not right or natural for another human being to die of a preventable disease or a mosquito bite or water that is polluted.
I support a few charities and tonight I registered a new website, unrealpoverty.com. There is nothing up right now and I don't know if I will ever be able to do anything with it. But if things continue to go the way they are going and people to continue to build a community around the conversations we are having online, maybe someday I'll get to start a charity. Maybe someday I won't take poverty for granted. Maybe someday I'll help make it unreal.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The bottles that come back.
The bottles that come back.
I think I've mentioned before that my fear about the great opportunities that the site Stuff Christians Like is opening up is that I'll waste everything. That I won't manage it the right way or maintain it the right way and the whole thing will just fall apart.
When I told my counselor Chuck that a few weeks ago, he said that I should stop worrying. He said that "God doesn't waste anything. He doesn't work that way. He uses everything to His purposes and if you feel like you could waste it that means you feel like you created it and you're not God."
That was a very freeing thing to hear. That in essence gave me permission to enjoy it rather than try to maintain it. To take part in the accidental community that is developing right now instead of trying to hold on to it.
I think that one of the reasons I was worried about wasting things is that it seems like we rarely get to see the way God uses what He calls us to do. Certainly a mission trip has very visible results. You can see that a child was fed, a mother was comforted, a baby was clothed. But often, it feels like God calls us to do something for Him and we do, and it's like a note we put into a bottle and then promptly throw into the ocean of life.
That guy at work He calls us to reach out to switches jobs and we never hear from him again. The neighbor we walk through a divorce moves to another town and disappears. Our prayers for people line the shore like a thousand bottles floating away from us without resolution or closure.
But sometimes they come back to us. Sometimes, God blesses us with the gift of knowing exactly how He used what we do for Him. And that can be a very beautiful thing.
The other night, I shared a story my counselor had told me on my site, 97secondswithgod.com. It was a short story about how God loves when we wrestle with Him because it's impossible to wrestle with someone far away. We feel guilty about it, because we think we should trust instead of wrestle but He sees it as a sign of intimacy.
Here is what a reader said on my site in response:
Jon, my wife has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, and it looks like she's entering the beginning of the end. As you might imagine, I've been wrestling with God quite a bit lately.
When I read your words just now I broke down and cried because the guilt, frustration, fear and anger were instantly replaced by the image of a loving God. Thank you so much.
God is weird. A man I've never met, in Oregon, a state I've never been to, dealing with a disease I've never dealt with, got the bottle he needed. I threw it out into the ocean and God sent it across the country.
That's how He works. It's not my talent or anything I'm doing that matters. What matters is that I throw out the bottles. He wants them. He wants us to throw them out even if we can't begin to imagine how He will use them.
So today, let's throw some bottles.
I think I've mentioned before that my fear about the great opportunities that the site Stuff Christians Like is opening up is that I'll waste everything. That I won't manage it the right way or maintain it the right way and the whole thing will just fall apart.
When I told my counselor Chuck that a few weeks ago, he said that I should stop worrying. He said that "God doesn't waste anything. He doesn't work that way. He uses everything to His purposes and if you feel like you could waste it that means you feel like you created it and you're not God."
That was a very freeing thing to hear. That in essence gave me permission to enjoy it rather than try to maintain it. To take part in the accidental community that is developing right now instead of trying to hold on to it.
I think that one of the reasons I was worried about wasting things is that it seems like we rarely get to see the way God uses what He calls us to do. Certainly a mission trip has very visible results. You can see that a child was fed, a mother was comforted, a baby was clothed. But often, it feels like God calls us to do something for Him and we do, and it's like a note we put into a bottle and then promptly throw into the ocean of life.
That guy at work He calls us to reach out to switches jobs and we never hear from him again. The neighbor we walk through a divorce moves to another town and disappears. Our prayers for people line the shore like a thousand bottles floating away from us without resolution or closure.
But sometimes they come back to us. Sometimes, God blesses us with the gift of knowing exactly how He used what we do for Him. And that can be a very beautiful thing.
The other night, I shared a story my counselor had told me on my site, 97secondswithgod.com. It was a short story about how God loves when we wrestle with Him because it's impossible to wrestle with someone far away. We feel guilty about it, because we think we should trust instead of wrestle but He sees it as a sign of intimacy.
Here is what a reader said on my site in response:
Jon, my wife has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, and it looks like she's entering the beginning of the end. As you might imagine, I've been wrestling with God quite a bit lately.
When I read your words just now I broke down and cried because the guilt, frustration, fear and anger were instantly replaced by the image of a loving God. Thank you so much.
God is weird. A man I've never met, in Oregon, a state I've never been to, dealing with a disease I've never dealt with, got the bottle he needed. I threw it out into the ocean and God sent it across the country.
That's how He works. It's not my talent or anything I'm doing that matters. What matters is that I throw out the bottles. He wants them. He wants us to throw them out even if we can't begin to imagine how He will use them.
So today, let's throw some bottles.
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