Sunday, September 23, 2007

The royal we or how to have one less argument with your wife.

The royal we or how to have one less argument with your wife.

I’ve been married for more than six years and what I’ve learned could probably fit in a hat. Not a big one either, like a top hat, but one of those small ones. You know the ones, Jason Mraz always wears them when he does concerts but any time you try to put them on you look really stupid so you’ve never bought one.

Anyway, I don’t know a ton about being married but one thing I do know is to not ever use the “royal we.” I don’t know who came up with that phrase, but it’s the perfect way to describe what happens when you make a we statement that’s really intended as a “you” statement.

Here’s an example from my own marriage:

Me, upon finding my daughter trying to strangle herself with a scarf: “We should not give our kids nooses.”

My wife: “Do you mean me? If you do, then just come right out and say, “You shouldn’t give our kids nooses.”

That’s basically how it goes and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work in any life situation. If you’re boss says, “we should have this PowerPoint finished for tomorrow’s meeting” he means you. If your friend says, “We need to work on our communication” chances are it’s you they’re talking about.

There’s no God tie in or anything although I am positive I could find some sort of verse in Proverbs that would fit. Just watch out for that royal we. It’s a killer.

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