My daughters are wearing snowsuits as teenagers. Every day.

My daughters are wearing snowsuits as teenagers. Every day.

I know it will be hot considering that we live in Georgia, but that’s too bad. Unless modesty comes back into vogue, fingers crossed, then they’re going to be wearing snowsuits to high school. And not those skanky snowsuits that show your legs above your boots. I’m joking, sort of. But as a dad that understands how guys think and a writer that understands how marketers think, I’m not excited about them growing up. Today, a commercial for Kidz Bop 12 reminded me why.

Kidz Bop is a CD with popular top 40 songs sung by 10 year olds. I’m cool with the concept, my 3 year old daughter loves to sing in the car, but the songs they put on these albums are clearly not written for little kids. Take these lyrics from Hinder’s “Lips of an angel” found on Kidz Bop volume 11. It’s a heartwarming, childhood favorite about getting a phone call from an ex-lover while your current girl is in the other room:

Well, my girl’s in the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on. It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name. It sounds so sweet. Coming from the lips of an angel. Hearing those words it makes me weak. And I never wanna say goodbye. But girl you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of an angel.

What 10-year old can’t relate to that song? What 11-year old hasn’t cheated on his girlfriend a time or two? You know how it is. You’re on one slide on the playground, your lady is playing hopscotch and an old flame winks from the swing set. What’s a kid to do? Thankfully Hinder and Kidz Bop have prepared you for this moment and upon taking a long, hard pull from a cold chocolate milk, you can stare off into the distance and wistfully say in a voice that hasn’t gone through puberty yet, “Girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel.”

p.s. I hate you Kidz Bop.