Abs, Ashton and 9 other things

Abs, Ashton and 9 other things

Every idea I have doesn't need to be stretched and pulled into a blog entry. Sometimes it can just be a handful of sentences, like these:

1. The other day my four-year old L.E. picked up a Donald Duck picture her two-year old sister McRae had colored. She said, “Dad, I’m not impressed with McRae’s work.” I asked her why and she replied, “It’s just scribbles.” I don’t think we have to learn to judge each other, I think it comes pretty naturally.

2. When someone tells you “FYI” it’s never a good thing. Honestly, have you ever heard someone say, “FYI, I’ve always loved you.” Or “FYI, you’re a great person.” No, it’s usually, “FYI, I’m not coming to your birthday party.”

3. If you don’t get sad when you’re at a burrito restaurant and you see the person making your burrito put a big tear in the shell ensuring that it will fall apart in your lap upon first bite, I’m not sure you’re an honest person.

4. The worst thing is when a celebrity gets Punk’d by Ashton Kutcher and they’re not important enough for him to show up to reveal the joke. He only goes to the big stars, but every celebrity looks around for him and when they figure out he’s just not coming, they realize they are C-list.

5. Why aren’t we still making fun of when Garth Brooks briefly tried to be a pop singer named “Chris Gaines?” Remember, he grew a little soul patch and combed his hair forward and we were supposed to forget he was Garth. That might be my favorite example that no matter how much money you make, if you’re not happy, you’ll still try to be someone else.

6. If you can watch this John Piper video and not want to immediately punch your copy of “Your Best Life Now” in the face, you must not like punching books.

7. When you forward someone a cool link or a youtube clip and they say, “I love that, I saw it about a week ago” what they are really saying is, “I don’t send you cool things even though you send them to me.”

8. Unless Jesus performs some kind of live show with white tigers in Las Vegas, I am fairly certain my wife will never set foot in that city.

9. When someone says, “Let me tell you about the dream I had last night,” what I hear is “this would be a good time to stop listening to me.”

10. “Fine is the Christian F word” is a sentence I wish I came up with.

11. At what point during the year that you have a Men’s Health magazine subscription are your abs good enough? Honestly, how many issues can I learn to blast, chisel, mold, shape, cut etc. my abs?